i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
