i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
