Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
