I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
