i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
