Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
