We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
