i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
