Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
