ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
