Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
