on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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