Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
