How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I understand Curling. That high.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
