if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
