He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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