So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
