In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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