It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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