I hate all girls vehemently.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
