I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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