im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
