I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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