Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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