so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
