we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
