yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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