stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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