I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
