i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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