I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
