She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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