Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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