this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
