I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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