bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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