Define "chronic" masturbator.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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