Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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