so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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