I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
