Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
