i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
