i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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