I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
