does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
honey bunches of taint.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
