Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
