There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
