I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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