you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
