I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
