ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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