there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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