maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
