I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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